Having Doubts
John 20:24-29 (NIV)
“Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!”
“But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ’Peace be with you!’ Then he said to Thomas, ’Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Then Jesus told him, ’Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
My mother and her family were all Roman Catholic. My father didn’t have a faith until very late on in life but, like many of his generation, was a nominal Christian. So I was raised in the catholic denomination, went to catholic schools and was confirmed. In the catholic tradition you choose a confirmation name – I chose Thomas. I did this for a couple of reasons: my father’s best friend, Tom, had died in a plane crash a few months earlier and I was aware of how this had hurt my dad and I guess I was trying to help. The other reason: although only a young boy I had my doubts about all this church stuff! A doubter just like Jesus’ friend, Thomas.
God is gracious and he knows us as individuals: some believers, as Jesus says, are blessed because they believe without seeing - they can’t name a particular event that caused or cemented their belief. Yet some, like Thomas, need to ‘see the nail marks in his hand…’. I was a Thomas. In my late teens I spent a lot of time, and enjoyed, keeping my car on the road. On one occasion I got into a real pickle – I will spare boring you with mechanical details but I was facing a garage bill I couldn’t afford, or the scrap heap, or a miracle. I remember shouting in my mind ‘God help me’ – and he did – he showed me a very unconventional way to fix the problem! This probably sounds trivial to you but it was very significant for me.
God knows us and loves us as unique individuals and he also knows what it will take to start or rekindle a relationship with him.
Prayer — Dear Lord you are amazing, you are the perfect father and we love you for it. You knew us before we were born - you know us so well and how to get our attention. You know some of your children reading this have their doubts about you and some are in dire situations: I simply cry out on their behalf: ‘God help them’.