Transformation: Growing In Courage

Matthew 14 v29-30
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus.  But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink.  He cried, ‘Master save me!’

I know I am not alone in having a bad case of imposter syndrome!  Most days I feels its effects.  It is the feeling that whatever I am doing I am just pretending to be capable, just pretending I have the skills, competencies etc.  As such, I will shortly be found to be a fraud, a failure, an imposter.  I can dress it up with a fancy syndrome name but what it boils down to is fear.  The fear that I will fail.  The fear that people will think lesser of me.  

Fear is a debilitating condition however it rears its head.  It is particularly prevalent now; fear of Covid19 infection, fear for jobs and livelihoods, fear for the future.    Peter, the man we read about on Monday preaching to huge crowds in the temple, was plagued by fears.  The fears of this fisherman at the turn of the millennium were not that different from the fears we feel.  He feared people and what they would think of him.  He denied Jesus three times such was his fear that the people would discover he was associated with this man who had been crucified.  But he was also fearful to trust Jesus.  When Jesus asks him to get out of the boat in that often-quoted gospel story, he starts well but then the storms around him are too great and he is too fearful to keep his eyes on Jesus and so he sinks.   But through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit Peter emerges as this bold and influential leader who goes to his death proclaiming the Gospel.   I don’t think Peter necessarily “conquered” his fears; what he did was learn where to fix and keep his eyes when the storms raged, and the fears loomed.

“My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love” – I pray that this will my song in whatever fears I face today whether they be big or small, short term or life changing.  

Libby Hubbard