Day 22 — Embracing Sorrow

Psalm 13:2

How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Grief, sorrow and pain are felt emotions - and emotions are real. We might not have a true grasp on the reality, but that doesn’t change our experience of a situation. David cries out in pain in this verse, attributing it to his enemy being exalted over him - of course he knew that God is exalted above all things, but it didn’t change the feeling of his enemy overcoming him.

We have an incredible instinctive ability to shut down from pain in the face of a challenge or crisis. I once signed up for a Tough Mudder Race (an endurance event famous for its challenging obstacles). Unfortunately my oversight was to focus on training for the obstacles – and forget to train for the 12 mile run! During the race adrenaline kept me going through to completion, it was only after stopping – in fact the next day - that I was practically paralysed with pain throughout my whole body from pushing it too far.

Covid-19 has been described as a marathon not a sprint, and most of us haven’t had any training for this particular marathon. Lament can create an all important pit-stop during this season to ensure we take stock spiritually, emotionally and physically to check, with God, if we are doing okay - to prevent burn-out when we reach the end. The unnamed man in Matthew 9 did this brilliantly when he immediately took a moment to run to Jesus with his struggles when he, ‘Cried out with tears, “Lord I believe; help me with my unbelief!”’.

Writing about lament N.T. Wright says, ‘This is a stillness, not of rest, but of poised anxious sorrow.’ I believe that God himself takes moments of pause to grieve all that's unravelling in his precious creation at the moment - poised, ready to move. If the Creator himself is grieving, we too can allow a moment to grieve. For God, it’s a moment of heartbreak; for us, it’s when we fully feel the pain that we can begin to step into the healing. You must first diagnose an illness before it can be healed.

We may need to ask the question of ourselves: Can I sustain my current pace, mental state and spiritual disciplines until the end of this pandemic? What needs to change? What rhythms are good and need protecting?

Prayer: Talk to God about all you are experiencing and feeling at the moment. Be raw, real and vulnerable with him. He is our compassionate and gracious help in times of need.

Mike Darbandi
Leadership Team