I Don’t Think I Love Jesus

John 1:14 (NIV)—

‘The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.’

When I moved to the UK everyone told me black pudding was horrible and disgusting. One day I finally cracked and ordered it and actually quite enjoyed it. That’s also how I felt about learning biblical Greek at uni. People told me Greek was terrible and boring but, as I started studying it, something in me came alive. John 1 was the first passage we translated in class.

The word for ‘we have seen’ is ‘Theaomi’ and means ‘to gaze at a spectacle.’ Translating this in class one day, I was struck by the affection in John’s tone as he reminisced about his time with Jesus. He’s creating this picture of the disciples gathered around Jesus, listening to him speak and blown away by the one they see.

My translation of John's words read: 'Who even is this! We gazed upon Jesus in amazement. We studied him, got to know him well and what we found was that at his core Jesus was full of grace and truth. He oozed the kindness and integrity of the Father.'

I realised that I had been a Chrisitian for many years but if I was honest, I had never truly gazed upon Jesus like this. I felt jealous of the affection and love John felt towards Jesus and I wanted this too. I had no idea where to start so I simply began praying, 'Father, teach me to love Jesus.' As I continued translating the Gospel of John I slowly fell in love with Jesus as I encountered his kindness throughout the pages. When I got to John 8 and saw the way he shows grace and truth to the woman caught in adultery, I bawled my eyes out. I realised God was answering my prayer.

 Prayer - Jesus I thank you that you are full of grace and truth. Father God, teach me to love Jesus more and more each day.